Dango solves everything
by Tears of Eternal Darkness
Summary: Dango can be such a great situation diffuser. Non-yaoi. One-shot.


Hello. This is my first Itachi/Kisame friendship fic. May I please stress that it is purely friendship and most defiantly not yaoi/shonen-ai or any other equivalent. I do not write that.

Anyway, this is a drabble I thought up about a day or two ago and its origin is probably with some random plot bunny that lives under my bed...

Don't ask me when this is set but I wrote Itachi younger than he is in Shippuden so let's say somewhere around when they encounter Naruto for the first time (can't remember what episode/chapter) but it's pre-time skip.

Oh and by the by, this is not a dig at Itachi. He happens to be one of my favourite Naruto characters.

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Summary: Dango can be such a good situation diffuser.

Disclaimer: I own nothing... sadly v.v

Enjoy!

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The two had successfully completed their mission ahead of schedule and so had decided to take a slow return back to the Akatsuki base. On their way back, they passed through a village. However, just as they entered, the clouds became dark and it began to rain. This prompted the two to seek shelter in one of the pub/guest houses just off the main path. Also, a couple of passing locals had mentioned a storm that night.

Kisame, being so use to the wet and not really one to mind the rain wouldn't have objected to continuing but he knew that his partner, Itachi, wasn't too fond of getting caught in the rain and would most likely catch a cold should the two carry on that night.

With a sigh, Kisame and Itachi entered the inn and Itachi took a seat at a table near the fireplace while Kisame approached the bar and quickly arranged a room for the night, as well as ordering some food for the two of them, before joining his partner.

After taking his seat opposite Itachi, Kisame began to remove his damp cloak which he then hung up before the fire. Itachi quickly followed suit and hung his cloak by the fire before removing his hair tie so his hair may dry a bit quicker. After a few minutes, the food arrived and Kisame tucked in while Itachi took his time, he wasn't overly hungry.

Half an hour passed and the bar was becoming quite busy. This wouldn't have bother the two Akatsuki members had their presence not been noticed by a group of locals. Unfortunately, one such member of said group of (drunken) locals had taken a fancy to them and had decided to make himself known to them.

"Hey, there." He slurred as he approached their table. Neither of them answered verbally but Kisame regarded the man with a disdainful look.

"Say," The man continued. "You wanna join me and my mates?" He pointed his half-empty pint glass in the general direction of the group that was gathered by the bar.

Kisame sighed, bored of this man already. "Can we help you?" He asked, annoyed.

The man frowned, drunkenly. "I wasn't talkin' to you, ya blue freak."

Kisame's eye twitched and he was about to say something further but was stopped when the man swung his arm about Itachi's shoulders and pulled himself uncomfortably close to the Uchiha.

"So?" The man said. "How's about it, pretty lady?"

Kisame's jaw nearly dropped as the man pulled Itachi closer to him. He nearly smiled when he saw Itachi make a face having just smelt the stench of alcohol on the drunk's breath.

Kisame sighed again. "Why don't you get lost before you lose a limb?" He said, knowing full well that Itachi wasn't going to stand for much more of this, especially after being called (he inwardly shuddered) a 'pretty lady'.

The man ignored Kisame and began moving his free hand down Itachi's arm towards the younger man's leg, and then it started heading upwards. "How's about it? Wanna get to know me a bit bett-AHH!" The man suddenly yelled out as Itachi's death grip on the invading hand tightened.

The man swiftly pulled his nearly crushed hand away as Itachi turned his blood red eyes on him. "Get. Lost." He said straining to keep himself under control. He didn't fancy being kicked out of the inn due to having relieved this man of his head. Plus, it was still raining outside.

The man stared shocked at Itachi as he turned away from the man and back to his dango. The man, taking this as an insult, decided to (stupidly) confront the 'woman' who had painfully blown him off.

"Hey!" he shouted angrily, his pint now forgotten on the floor. "Don't you turn away from me!"

The man reached for Itachi's shoulder but was stopped when Kisame moved swiftly around the table and between Itachi and this drunken idiot.

By this time, the man's drunken friends had noticed what was happening by the fireplace and were starting to make their way over.

The man let out a growl and glared (through his beer goggles) up at Kisame. "Move it ya blue weirdo. The whore is gonna pay for what she did to my 'and!"

"Just get lost. He's not interested." Kisame stated irritably.

" 'ey!" A sudden call caught both the drunks and Kisame's attention. Whether Itachi had caught it wasn't clear as he was pretty much hidden behind Kisame's massive form.

Looking up, Kisame caught sight of the approaching group of drunken, rowdy men. He frowned; this was going to get ugly. There was no way around it. This guy thought Itachi was a woman and that 'she' had blown him off for Kisame. He wanted revenge for his hand and now his mates were coming to back him up.

"Hey." The group had reach them now and were all stood around the first man. "This guy givin' you trouble, Nate?"

"Yea." Nate (the first drunken idiot) replied looking back up at Kisame. "I was only talkin' to the girl then she tried to crush my hand, Kei. Now 'e won't let me talk to 'er."

Kei (the second drunken idiot) frowned up at Kisame. "Why don't ya step aside you big, ugly freak." _Great._ Kisame thought._ This idiot's into name calling too. Wonderful..._

"Just get lost." Kisame said bored of the conversation (if you could call it that) already. He knew Itachi was getting irritated, he could feel the Uchiha's Chakra starting to bristle. _The last thing I need..._

The men didn't take kindly, however, to Kisame's statement. Many started to draw knives from pockets and belt holders. They clearly wanted a fight.

Kisame sighed and moved to reached for Samahada. However, he was stopped by a voice just behind him.

"I'll take care of this, Kisame." Itachi said and before he could reply, Kisame felt a light hand on his shoulder as Itachi made an almost impossible flip over his partner to land lightly in between the drunken mob and a slightly surprised Kisame.

The men took a step back as Itachi stood, his head down so his bangs covered his eyes. "You've already been asked twice. Now I'm telling you, get lost or you will regret it."

The men said nothing for a moment but then Nate decided to be brave (read: stupid) and he stepped forward and looked as though he was about to draw a weapon but stopped when Itachi looked at him through his bangs, eyes glowing with the power of the Sharingan.

All the men took another step back. "W-what are you?" Kei stuttered.

Itachi gave another death glare through his loose hair. "I'm a boy." He seethed. The men took the hint and quickly moved away and back towards the bar where the bartender was looking quite uneasy.

After a few moments, Kisame relaxed. "Glad that's over." He said as he moved back round the table. Itachi didn't reply as he moved towards the fire place.

Kisame watched him and couldn't help but smirk as Itachi pointedly snatched his hair tie from the hook and began to tie his hair back into its usual low ponytail before taking his seat once again with a huff.

Itachi glanced up at Kisame and was about to look back down when he saw the smirk on Kisame's face. He glared. "What?" He demanded annoyed.

Kisame immediately dropped his smirk knowing better than to incur Itachi's wrath so he said simply, "Nothing" before turning his attention to his empty dango dish.

"Hmph." Itachi snorted through his nose before picking up his last dango stick and promptly stuffing one of the dango into his mouth. Kisame had to suppress another smirk, _Very unlady-like..._ he thought amused.

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That night, after the drunken group had left in search for somewhere else to drink, Kisame and Itachi wandered up to their shared room in silence.

Once inside, Itachi sat on his bed which was to the left of the small window, as Kisame began pulling his shoes off. He didn't particularly want an early night but he didn't fancy staying up with Itachi who was obviously still in a bad mood having been mistaken for a girl just a few hours before.

Placing his shoes at the foot of his bed that was on the right of the window, Kisame then proceeded to pull his fishnet-sleeved top off before tossing it on top of his Akatsuki cloak that was on the end of his bed.

" 'Night." He said before climbing under the covers and lying on his side so his bare back was to his partner.

Said partner still had yet to move or even so much as remove his shoes and Kisame doubted he would anytime soon, not with the metaphorical storm cloud hanging above the Uchiha's head.

After some forty-five minutes, Kisame rolled onto his back and turned his head to look at Itachi.

He sighed. _His mood is going to keep me awake..._ he thought bitterly. "Hey," He called quietly. Itachi shifted but said nothing.

Kisame sighed again and propped himself up on one elbow. "You alright?" He asked, not really expecting a response but felt he should ask anyway. _The sooner we do this, the sooner I can sleep..._

To the blue nin's surprise, however, Itachi looked up and gave a half nod.

Kisame knew better than to believe that. "You sure?" he prodded.

It was Itachi's turn to sigh now. "You didn't have to do that." He said out the blue.

Kisame frowned. "Do what?" he asked utterly confused.

"You intervened with that man." Itachi replied. "You didn't have to."

Kisame blinked. "Of course I did." He said pulling himself into a sitting position. "He was trying to pick a fight with you."

"I can take care of myself, Kisame." Itachi said sounding defensive.

"I know you can-"

"Then why did you feel the need to defend me?"

Kisame opened his mouth but with no comeback he closed it again. Itachi looked at him, expectantly.

"I... don't know." Kisame finally answered.

Itachi sighed again as he lifted his right foot and started to remove his shoes.

A thick silence fell between them and it wasn't until Kisame spoke again that it was broken. "I thought he was going to hurt you."

This statement made Itachi pause in his shoe removing and look up at his partner who was now sat on the edge of his bed.

"He wouldn't have been able to touch me." Itachi said returning to the task at hand.

"I know." Kisame said softly. "But I just thought I'd save you the trouble."

Itachi placed his shoes at the end of his bed before pulling his bare feet onto his bed and sitting cross-legged*. He sighed. "Well, it was me who got rid of them in the end."

Kisame looked up at him with a half-smile playing at his lips. "And why did you do that?" He asked.

Itachi blinked before answering. "They were starting to annoy me."

Kisame let out a soft laugh. "If you say so, Itachi." And with that he rolled onto his back.

Itachi looked at him for a few seconds before he too rolled onto his back. "Yes." He said softly. "I do say so."

Kisame turned his head to look at him with a smirk before turning his head back to look up at the ceiling. "Good night, Itachi."

"Hn," was all Itachi said as he rolled onto his side and promptly fell asleep.

Kisame sighed. _Lucky brat..._

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The next morning found Itachi, still in a foul mood, leaving the communal bathroom and heading back towards their shared room. As he walked down the hallway, a young girl carrying a large pile of fresh towels, was walking the other way.

As she neared, she accidentally bumped into Itachi, knocking the towels out of her hand and sending Itachi stumbling a few steps backwards. Immediately she bowed low.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed. "Are you alright, Miss?"

Itachi's eyes flared with the Sharingan. _What did she just call me?!_ He thought angrily.

The girl took a half-step back as Itachi began to activate a genjutsu. However, before he could make eye contact, a big blue hand came over his eyes, effectively blocking any attack he may have planned.

The girl jump at Kisame's sudden appearance behind his partner. "I'm sorry, Miss." He said as politely as he could.

"Kisame." Itachi managed to say but Kisame ignored him.

"My companion is in a bit of a bad mood." He continued to the girl. "Please don't take offence."

"Kisame." This was a warning but again, Kisame ignored him as the girl blinked and nodded.

She was about to open her mouth to speak but Kisame interrupted. "Now if you'll please excuse us, we'll be on our way." And with that, Kisame proceeded down the hall and round the corner, with an irate Itachi being practically dragged behind him.

After eventually getting a by now livid Itachi down the stairs, Kisame paid the bartender for the room and ordered some dango to go, all whilst keeping his hand firmly clamped over Itachi's eyes.

He didn't want to have to pay for any repairs the inn _would_ need should he even so much as loosen his grip on the Uchiha.

With a fake smile, Kisame took the dango-to-go and proceeded to leave the inn. "Thank you." He called over his shoulder.

"Kisame." The warning was back. Kisame cringed knowing full well what was going to happen if he didn't act fast.

Making sure none of the locals were about, Kisame stopped just off the main path and turned to Itachi who by now was probably finishing on the finer detail of how he was going to kill Kisame. Said blue ninja gulped as he stood poised with his hand still firmly over Itachi's eyes. _One..._ He started to count silently. This had to work. _Two... Three!_

As fast as all his training would allow, Kisame removed his hand from Itachi's eyes and just as the younger mans mouth opened to (probably) berate him madly, Kisame took one of the orders of dango and shoved it into his partners partly open mouth.

Silence.

Kisame watched Itachi's face but made sure to avoid eye contact. The younger man didn't look angry but he could never tell; it could be the calm before the storm.

Slowly, Itachi brought his hand up and grasped the end of the dango stick before pulling it out of his mouth, leaving one of the dango in his mouth.

Kisame let out a sigh of relief; it had worked... kind of. He turned towards the village exit. "Let's get going." He said and headed off towards base.

Itachi swallowed his mouthful before following his partner out of the village, dango still in hand.

The pair walked in silence for about twenty minutes, Itachi having just put the last of his dango into his mouth.

Kisame watched him silently from the corner of his eye. The younger man slowly chewed and eventually swallowed.

Silence fell once again and Kisame looked away and focussed on the path ahead.

"Thank you."

Kisame blinked and turned his attention to his partner who, to his surprise, was looking up at him.

Kisame blinked again. "Er... did you just thank me?" He asked cautiously.

Itachi nodded once.

"Oh." Kisame said. "You're welcome." He then turned his eyes back to the path.

It wasn't long until silence fell once again.

Kisame slowly shifted his gaze to rest on his shorter partner and smiled, amused. The young Uchiha was still holding his last dango stick and in such a way that told Kisame that he was staring at it.

Kisame's smile widened and he reached a hand up and rested it on top on Itachi's head.

Itachi looked up at him as best he could, a quizzical look on his face.

"Don't worry," Kisame said without looking at him. "We'll get you some more once we get back to base."

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Ok, so what did you guys think?

The bedroom scene was tough to write as was the last bit but I hope it all makes sense. I have proof-read it but if you see any mistakes please let me know in a review. Thank you! =^-^=

* Most people know this as "Indian style"


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